This is Me

Hello there. Perhaps you are thinking” oh no, here comes another blogger who thinks she knows everything.” Sshhhh… It’s true I know everything! (just kidding there are days when getting out of bed is my greatest accomplishment). Have you had days like that?  Days when you feel you’ve opened your eyes in the morning and that was your version of waking up? Are there days when you feel that your brain is stuck under a glass fish bowl and everyone is tapping on the glass? You can see people and hear people, but they are much too loud and it is difficult to filter out the voices from the noise. At that moment, it is all noise.

Then there are  days when your own brain & body is your enemy.  It is as if someone made a voodoo doll of you and they relentlessly sticking pins and needles on different parts of your body.

What’s worse still is that no one in your close circle of family and friends quite understand what you are going through? It is difficult enough to explain, it is much harder for anyone else to empathize.  

You have been given a journey on a road you didn’t wish to travel. And along this road, you feel that you are traveling alone without a GPS. And it’s hard to find anyone to ask for directions.

I hope that I can offer you the information, support & encouragement you need to get through rough times. When you feel alone and  misunderstood, I hope to be able to give you company.  And hearing from you would also help me know that I am not alone. That there a community we all can fall back to in tough, painful times.

half marathin finish
One week and two days before the stroke, I finished the SF Nike Half marathon (13.1 miles)

You see about 3 years ago, I was an average mom, living an average life and doing extraordinary things to stay healthy. I was running 10 plus miles a week and racing 5&10ks and some half marathons on the weekends. I was an average runner who was only competing with myself.  In October of 2014, I had a massive stroke. I was in and out of consciousness for about two weeks ( so I was told), and when I came to, my first words were “I need to get out of here, I have a 10k to run on Thanksgiving.” I was not aware that I was then deemed disabled.  My legs which took me to many finish lines, allowed me to meet the best friends that I have are no longer working. That reality did not quite hit me until the first day of physical therapy in intensive rehab.

There are have been successes and defeats in my recovery. I am surprised that I am now tearing up as I type.  I am sure there will be more struggles and success in the future. I can only use one hand to type right now, so please pardon spelling & grammatical errors.

Please join me. Read my story as we can travel this rough road together. Surviving is the first step, the rest of the journey is to thrive.

P.S. I participated in a 7 day launch your blog challenge and this was the final assignment. I know I had done an intro in the past,  but looking back this is a more focused and better composed intro. It is a testament to me that my brain is still healing.

 

Much Love,

Momma Berna

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Bernadette

I am a 45 year old wife and mother. My husband of 20 years and I are in charge of shaping and moulding the lives of two young men who are now 18 & 14. Two years ago, our idyllic life was thrown into a loop when I had a hemorrhagic stroke. I now have to deal with a disability that I am working to rehabilitate. It has been a long, tough road but my family and I trekking it together.

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